The Drabble Collection
by Minerva McTabby
Summary: Short and random HP things, rated K to M. Gen, slash, het, humor, squick, smut, angst. Featuring Snape, Harry, Hermione, Albus, Riddle, Voldemort, Sirius, Draco, Peeves, Dobby, ghosts, Dementors, Squid, etc.
1. nine drabbles for hp100 & hpsquick100

**Drabbles are supposed to be exactly 100 words long. Most of these are. I've been drabbling occasionally for the weekly challenges at the hp100 and hpsquick100 LiveJournal communities. Will add more to this collection as they happen.**

*** * * * ***

Written for hp100, March 26, 2003.  
Topic: **Mirror of Erised**  
_Character: Voldemort_

And the final battle shattered the Mirror. Fragments flew, settling into an eye here, a heart there. 

Those people went mad. They neither ate nor drank nor slept. They stared at nothing, and eventually - laughing, crying, coming, yearning - they died. 

But the very largest shard pierced the dark heart of the Dark Lord himself, and he did not die, for he could not. 

So Harry took him down to the Chamber of Secrets, and sealed it forever. 

He will never die. He sees that. It is all he sees - all he will ever know. 

It is enough. 

Tom is smiling. 

*** * * * ***

Written for hp100, March 28, 2003.  
Topic: **Mirror of Erised**  
_Character: Dementor_

Eyeless, it senses its heart's desire. 

*** 

"Again! Oh, please - _more_..." 

Another Kiss. Soft lips, living breath, another rush of dark pleasure as a second soul is devoured, hot and luscious as the first. 

The human gasps in joy; the creature consumes that as well, and still eager fingers clutch at its robes, inviting - _demanding_ - its Kisses. 

"_More!_" 

Again it feeds, and yet again, its embrace a spiral of ecstasy as soul after soul is sucked forth from this fathomless well, this human who begs and grasps greedily at cold flesh and shudders and cries out... 

*** 

One clammy hand touches the Mirror. The creature moans. 

*** * * * ***

Written for hp100, April 8, 2003.  
Topic: **A dead person writes a letter**  
_Character: Blaise Zabini_

Malfoy, 

Aurors got me. _Bugger_. Well, you know the drill - all for the Cause, dulce et decorum est, yadda yadda... Do inform the Dark Lord I apologise for the inconvenience and will take care to reincarnate with a pureblood family ASAP. 

Meanwhile: _no autopsy_. Got that? Relying on you here, Malfoy. I'll go to my grave with privacy intact, and there shall be _no_ prurient gossip about my genitalia at the wake. 

But you and me and Pansy - that was fun. Tell her she can have my lingerie; and the cock-ring's yours. Sorry I'll miss the wedding. 

Ciao! 

Blaise Zabini 

*** * * * ***

Written for hp100, April 8, 2003.  
Topic: **A dead person writes a letter**  
_Character: Mundungus Fletcher (pre-OotP)_

Thanks a lot, Black. I'm dead, you bastard. 

Couldn't you just deliver Dumbledore's message and piss off? Noooo, you had to stay around! Catch up, you said; have a drink. Something important to show me. 

Before I know it, I'm flat on my back and you're doing that "for old times' sake" business all over me, and then - 

You always did have a ghastly sense of humour. 

Black! You bastard! Next time you need to show a man with a weak heart that you're a bloody great dog Animagus, don't do it during sex! 

Oh, damn you. 

Mundungus Fletcher (Dead.) 

*** * * * ***

Written for hp100, August 6, 2003.  
Topic: **O.W.L.s**  
_Character: Hermione_

The owl came in July, as promised, and Hermione's results were everything she could have wished. And after hugging her parents, the very first thing she did was run to her room and open The Book. 

In five years she had virtually memorised the _Hogwarts, a History_ appendix listing top O.W.L. and N.E.W.T. scores. Transfiguration, for instance: record set in 1777 by A. Switch, broken in 1856 by A. Dumbledore and another student, broken again in 1910, and again by T. Riddle in 1943... 

And again in 1996. There it was: **H. Granger**, in neat black letters. 

Now part of history. 

*** * * * ***

Written for hpsquick100, September 17, 2003.  
Title: _Death Eaters, My Foot!_  
Topic: **Feet**  
_Characters: Mad-Eye Moody, two generic Death Eaters_

Bastards thought I was dead. Ha! Had them right where I wanted them, from the moment the first bloke bit into my heel. 

My toes were plucked and swallowed like so many grapes. Then both went for the sole at once - greedy buggers! Tearing, chewing, grunting; spit and blood flying everywhere... Of course, by the time I had one gnawing on my metatarsals and the other up to my ankle, they'd lost any sense of vigilance whatsoever. 

I let them get almost as far as my knee before hitting them with an ambireciprocal _Stupefy_. 

Death Eaters. Ha! That'll teach 'em. 

*** * * * ***

Written for hpsquick100, September 19, 2003.  
Title: _Teuthophilia_  
Topic: **Feet**  
_Pairing: Ron/Hermione_

She likes to transform slowly, floating on her back. Every time, Ron finds himself watching her feet. 

Their arches vanish and their heels melt into the change gliding up through her body. The valley between each slim toe splits and widens - human flesh cleaving away from itself, becoming _other_, lengthening, engorging... She stretches and rolls, proud of her skill; he feels his own excitement building. 

Very soon there are ten supple limbs, so glistening pink, reaching out for him through the water. 

"Oh, Hermione..." A gasp as the first tentacle slips lasciviously between his thighs. 

Her suckers clamp down hard. 

*** * * * ***

Written for hpsquick100, September 27, 2003.  
Title: _The Bottom of the Lake_  
Topic: **Headmaster/Squid**

It took time, of course, but oh how he relished this - moving slowly, deliberately, up one firmly-bound leg and down the next... until every sucker bore its own sherbet lemon. 

Once the last sweet ornament was in place, he floated back to admire his handiwork. 

Long limbs splayed out for his pleasure. The double row of grindylows along each tentacle, pinching hard; more in a ring at the creature's tender core. Anticipation and fear in those two huge eyes. 

He ripped away the first grindylow. 

"Blubbmbguggblll!" 

He paused. Was that - ? No; their safeword was _Bluggmgbubbglll_. 

Smiling benignly, he carried on. 

*** * * * ***

Written for hpsquick100, October 12, 2003.  
Title: _Sirius Black and the Puffskeins of Azkaban_  
Topic: **Marauders bestiality**  
_Character: Sirius_

For all his Gryffindor courage and Animagus powers, Sirius really thought he might never have survived Azkaban if his cell hadn't been infested with Puffskeins. 

So many of them. So docile, so friendly, so easy to train... Best of all, so remarkably versatile. 

He'd have two of them behind him, their lovely long tongues snaking out and probing deep for his pleasure, and another two attending to his nipples, while one enclosed him in its depths and... made that humming sound. 

Oh, _God_. That humming sound. 

In exchange, of course, they were free to have their way with his nose. 

*** * * * ***

Disclaimer: Based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 


	2. three Voldemort Sex drabbles for hpsquic...

**Drabbles are supposed to be exactly 100 words long. Most of these are. I've been drabbling occasionally for the weekly challenges at the hp100 and hpsquick100 LiveJournal communities. Will add more to this collection as they happen.**

*** * * * ***

Written for hpsquick100, October 15, 2003.  
Title: _Thanks for the Memories_  
Topic: **Voldemort sex**  
_Characters: Draco, Harry_

"Sod off, Malfoy!" 

"Do it! Or the Mudblood's cat stays 'lost', _permanently_..." 

"Look, I just saw him for a second, and - there was all this steam - " 

Draco held out the Pensieve and waited, smirking. No choice here, and Potter knew it. 

"All right!" 

Potter raised his wand, grimacing, and drew off one wispy thought-strand. A moment later Draco's Pensieve was shoved into his chest with more force than strictly necessary. 

"You're _sick_." Potter stomped away. 

Draco headed for the dungeons, unable to believe his luck. 

The Dark Lord. _Naked!!!_

He'd be the envy of every Death Eater kid in Slytherin. 

*** * * * ***

Written for hpsquick100, October 16, 2003.  
Title: _OMG vOlDiE iS So HOt PLZ R&R!!! KTHXBAI!!!_  
Topic: **Voldemort sex**  
_Pairing: Voldemort/Mary Sue_

She changed everything, of course. 

The Potter boy faded into the background. Within minutes, Voldemort himself was defeated and disarmed, a prisoner at her feet. 

"I am Diorissima Elvensparkle!" she declared. "Now say you're sorry for your evilness, so I can kill you and live happily ever after with Draco!" 

Flick. Flick. Flick. 

His long, forked tongue darted out to dance its seduction - twisting and beckoning, licking and luring, promising all manner of new delights. 

Her dazzling violet eyes followed it in helpless fascination. 

"_Oh_. Um... I think I might keep you." 

Draco pouted. Bellatrix seethed. Snape looked faintly nostalgic. 

*** * * * ***

Written for hpsquick100, October 17, 2003.  
Title: _Harry Potter and the Motivation for Occlumency_  
Topic: **Voldemort sex**  
_Pairing: Voldemort/Nagini_

Smooth coils around him, rubbing and squeezing, sliding down... Blunt head nudging his legs apart. The tongue... 

His eyes fly open to darkness. _Not his bed_. 

He tries to scream. 

"Sweet Nagini, yessss..." Not his voice. Not his high, cold moan. 

Not his, the flesh he strokes - bigger, slick and scaly, icy to the touch... Not his body, spread wide, writhing so wantonly beneath the snake... 

Not his orgasm lighting the room with emerald fire. 

Only the blinding pain afterwards is his, and the shame that cannot banish memory. 

~ ~ ~ 

Next morning, Harry goes to Snape and asks for more lessons. 

*** * * * ***

Disclaimer: Based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 


	3. three more for hpsquick100: ghosts, RHr,...

**Drabbles are supposed to be exactly 100 words long. Most of these are. I've been drabbling occasionally for the weekly challenges at the hp100 and hpsquick100 LiveJournal communities. Will add more to this collection as they happen.**

*** * * * ***

Written for hpsquick100, October 26, 2003.  
Title: _Sir Nicholas Loses His Head_  
Topic: **Missing Parts**  
_Pairing: Bloody Baron/Nearly Headless Nick_

"Suffer me to aid you! Give yourself to me..." 

For centuries, he refused. Though a Gryffindor in death, he feared those lustful, hunger-bright eyes. 

Then the Hunt rejected him again, and he could bear it no longer. A spectral sword would complete what an axe had begun. 

"Do with me as you will," he said, "but keep your oath." 

The other laughed, and seized him. Tore away his ruff, then his other garments. Used him hard. 

He endured, paying the price. 

When the blade freed him, his head watched the Baron bend over his ravished body, lapping at silver blood. 

*** * * * ***

Written for hpsquick100, October 30, 2003.  
Title: _Can I Make It Any More Obvious?_  
Topic: **Write something that squicks you.**  
_Pairing: Ron/Hermione_

Ron squeezed her hand shyly and cleared his throat. 

"I... I l-like you too, Mione," he stammered, blushing as red as his hair. His dear, honest eyes were filled with love as they gazed into hers. 

Hermione's heart fluttered with the purest joy she had ever known. 

They were destined for each other - and now an irresistible force as old as time was pulling them closer... and closer... 

Ron's lips puckered up in a ridiculously adorable way. Trembling, Hermione leaned forward and pressed her mouth to his... 

~ ~ ~ 

...and woke up. And screamed. 

And _never_ forgot the taste of Crookshanks's arse. 

*** * * * ***

Written for hpsquick100, November 12, 2003.  
Title: _Better Than Socks_  
Topic: **Plantslash**  
_Pairing: Dobby/Whomping Willow_

Light though he is, the Tree senses Dobby's presence at once. 

It quivers; he trembles in anticipation. The branch sways; his thin arms cling even more tightly. He presses his cheek against the bark. He waits. 

_Whomp!_

And he's flying through the air, crashing to the ground, over and over - swept away on this wild, abandoned ride - breathless, madly excited with a freedom he's never known as the Tree lashes back and forth, faster, harder, and faster still. 

Sometimes, he thinks the Tree _knows_. Somehow, its rhythm matches his. 

After he's gone, a small sticky patch remains on its bark. 

*** * * * ***

Disclaimer: Based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 


	4. eight more: mostly Snape

**Drabbles are supposed to be exactly 100 words long. Most of these are.  
Also including some other short items that aren't exactly drabbles, but close enough. **

**This page has a lot of Snape. **

* * *

Written for hpsquick100, January 7, 2004.  
Title: **Love Bomb**  
Rating: R  
Length: 100 words  
Topic: Poltersmut  
Pairing: Filch/Peeves

The water bombs on the students were merely a ruse. It worked. Filch gave chase - and found Peeves waiting with the last balloon.

Worth it. Worth stroking himself, night after night, imagining how Filch might _punish_ him. (The cane? Chains? _Ooohh_.)

Worth it for the look on Filch's face as a week's worth of cold poltergeist-spunk plopped onto his head and trickled down his stringy hair.

"Wheee! Pretty Argie!" Peeves gleefully waggled his cock. "Plenty more where that came from, darling!"

"I'll have you for this, Peeves..." said that deliciously menacing wheeze. "Lick it off. Now!"

Squirming, Peeves did.

* * *

Written for hpsquick100, October 2, 2004.  
Title: **The Needs of the Many**  
Rating: PG  
Length: 100 words  
Topic: Mary Sues  
Characters: Sorting Hat and a Mary Sue

"Venusdottir, Deliria!"

The transfer student settled the Sorting Hat on her luxuriant raven hair.

"Hmm..." said a small voice.

"I wanna be in Gryffindor, like Cousin Harry! And Slytherin, like Cousin Draco!"

"Hmm. Do you, indeed?"

"_And_ Ravenclaw - the N.E.W.T.s will be _so_ easy, and I'm already a Giant Squid Animagus!"

"Really? I find that _very_ hard to believe..."

"I'll prove it! Watch _this!_" Deliria's body swelled abruptly, scattering tiny shreds of the Hat all over the Great Hall.

She managed to wave a tentacle smugly before asphyxiating.

"We honor the Hat's courageous sacrifice," said Dumbledore, wiping away a tear.

* * *

Written for snape100, October 12, 2004.  
Title: **Professorhead**  
Rating: PG-13  
Length: 100 words  
Topic: Headmaster Snape  
Pairing: Snape/Peeves

"You _cannot_ be serious. Intercourse - with that creature?"

All the portraits nodded, while Peeves continued doing somersaults around the headmaster's office, cackling in anticipation.

Feverishly, Snape searched the fine print of his employment contract. "Clause 893.59.2... sex... poltergeist... alternate Thursdays... Oh, bloody hell!"

Dumbledore's portrait winked. "A _tradition_, Severus."

"Close your eyes and think of Slytherin," added Nigellus, smirking.

"All _right!_" Snape snarled. "You. Poltergeist! Come here - "

"Yes, sir!" Peeves zoomed over, waving some scraps of black lace. "For _you_, Professorhead, sir!"

"What?!" Snape seized the contract again. "Clause 893.59.4... suspenders and a bra..."

It was a very long Thursday.

* * *

Written for snape100, April 21, 2005.  
Title: **Severus the Spy**  
Rating: R  
Length: 100 words  
Topic: "First, a spanking! And then, the oral sex!"  
Characters: Snape, Voldemort, Dumbledore  
Warning: Monty Python references.

_First, a spanking..._

The Death Eaters leer. Snape grits his teeth and bends over.

_Then the oral sex..._

Snape sucks.

_Then the anal sex..._

Snape contemplates the lubricant's inferior quality and negligible quantity.

_Then the compulsory grovelling..._

Snape crawls, naked, to kiss the hem of the Dark Lord's robes.

_Then the Cruciatus..._

Snape screams.

_Then the Legilimency..._

Snape smirks, his secrets safe.

_Then the ritual cursing of Harry Potter..._

Snape never admits to enjoying this part.

_Then the evil plotting and planning..._

Snape spies.

_And then - at last - the debriefing session with Dumbledore._

Snape breaks.

"Nooooooo!!! Not the comfy chair!!!"

* * *

Written for darklord100, August 28, 2005.  
Title: **Sweet Dreams**  
Rating: PG  
Length: 100 words  
Topic: The Dark Lord  
Characters: Narcissa, little Draco

"...but it's not _fair_, Mother! We're _better_ than them - "

"Too many of them, so we must hide - so the Muggle-lovers say - but don't you believe that, my love."

"Not _fair_ - "

"I _know_... And some day we'll not have to hide any more - that I promise you, darling. The Dark Lord will set us free."

"But he's gone."

"Never! There's always been a Dark Lord, and always shall be, till Muggles are in the dirt where they belong, beneath our heels - "

"He'll come back?"

"Of _course_ he will, darling. Promise! Give Mother a kiss now, and go to sleep... Good night!"

* * *

Written for Luthien's "Snape had never..." prompt, September 29, 2005.  
Title: **Snape's Fic**  
Rating: PG  
Pairing: implied Snape/Harry

Snape had never written fan-fiction before, and it showed.

The one solitary review took him to task, sternly, for creating a blatant Gary Stu who shags Frodo, kills Gandalf, and flees into the night with Legolas to join the Dark Lord.

"So then he turns out to be a double agent, does he?" scoffed the reviewer. "Dies heroically and saves the day, right? Bitch, _pleeease!_"

The story was deleted that very evening. And Snape never wrote fan-fiction again.

* * *

Written for snaperarepairs, March 18, 2006.  
Title: **The Lightning-Struck Deus Ex Machina**  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: Snape/Dumbledore, with apologies to HBP Chapter 27.

"Severus... please..."

Snape gazed at Dumbledore silently.

"Please... I don't want to die a virgin!"

For a long moment, no one spoke... then Malfoy let out a wheezing gasp. "But - I - but he - "

"_I'll_ do it," said the werewolf, still leering at Dumbledore.

"Too late - he's asked for me by name," said Snape, already unbuttoning his robes. "_Tsk_, Draco. The Dark Lord wanted _your_ bloodline for the child."

"The ch-chi...?" Malfoy dropped his wand, and the lumpy-looking Death Eater tittered.

"Powerful wizard, Permachaste Curse, last request, Uranus in Capricorn - oh yes, I'm sure to conceive forthwith."

"And _then_ we kill him!"

"No, Greyback." Black fabric rippled to the ground at Snape's feet. He wore nothing beneath. "Then he and I come into our heritage as Veela Elves, form a soul-bond, sprout wings, and fly off to live happily ever after!"

The Death Eaters assumed this last bit was sarcasm.

They were wrong.

* * *

Written for Tarie's New Year Drabble Exchange, January 2, 2007.  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: implied non-con Snape/Sirius, Snape/Lily  
Length: 169 words  
**Request:** Snack-shipper Envinyatar asked for "something dark/desperate" and "wrongness."

As it happens, he really _can_ stopper death - but the enchantment is neither Light nor lightly done. Only once before has he been tempted to halt a departing soul for his pleasure.

"I forbid it," Albus had said, gaze stern.

Nothing was allowed to imperil the Potter brat's blood-safety - so the sacrificed mother went uncaptured. Regrettably.

Fifteen years later, he takes care to work his perilous art in secrecy; none to witness his skill, none to see his triumph when the veil surrenders its victim. And none to know his satisfaction - many, _many_ times thereafter - as he unstoppers the flask of his creation to call forth the restless spirit bound within.

Dark smoke swirls to the floor of Snape's chamber, taking solid form: a tall figure, fists clenched in fury against the old magic that bids him speak.

"What is your will, my Master?" Words forced out through gritted teeth.

"_Sit_, Black." This game will never lose its charm. "Lie down. Roll over! Now _beg_."

* * *

Disclaimer: Based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 


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